1 December 2006

Frustrations have been boiling. Petty annoyances have been gnawing at my insides and finally today some idiot (albeit a more senior idiot than me) gave me the straw that broke the camel back. It was just a lack of comprehension of the realites of the job out here compared to the sanctity and sanity of his base back in the first world. Coming right after the work I have just put in, and the fact that the Jamaican government are making it difficult (and expensive) to stay, I had had enough.

The Lady of Leisure kindly met me for lunch and I discussed my plans for serving notice. She took this all rather well, though she was disappointed as she told me she is the happiest she has been in many years. She added to the emotional blackmail by walking me through how much of a shame that it would be for the kids to have to give up this opportunity also, but if I was unhappy………

I was strong – I closed my ears to those heart-strings being plucked. LoL understood and sympathised but could I now hurry it up as she had a plane to catch for a weekend shopping trip with the girls in Miami. As we parted she reminded me of my plans at the end of this Jamaican sojourn – little gîte in France with an inordinately large cellar, and time to enjoy it. I trudged back to work knowing she’s right

With a little perspective allowing me to think more clearly, I think I may have come up with a solution to the import problem that doesn’t involve paying off a customs official.

30 November 2006

Negotiations on the house are progressing though it’s a very slow dance. We’ll get the house at the price we are prepared to pay, jus getting the landlord to see it that way is proving tedious. After that I will have to buy a few appliances but the cash hemorrhage doesn’t stop there.

The new house will be unfurnished which makes sense as you can then maximize the house you get for the allowance. Furthermore, and possible more important to the Lady of Leisure, shipping in our own furniture means that she will not have to be embarrassed the gilt chandeliers, or age effect dado rails or floral print everything that seems obligatory in furnished rented accommodation, but are the antithesis of our personalities.

We hadn’t counted on the random nature of rules and regulations here. In their infinite wisdom, customs have decided that expatriates are only allowed one tax free shipment. That meant I have wasted ours on a fews Cd’s, wine glasses, golf clubs and a bean bag. We are now likely to be charged Duty at 25% and then VAT at 16.5% on that again. Our stuff is already on the water but at 45.6% of value to be charged, I will be paying more at port than I did for shipment. That is only based on the insured value, their deemed value could be larger again.
It is no wonder corruption thrives so readily, when the bureaucracy is so punative and apparently so random and arbitrary in its application. I would prefer to do everything by the book here, but there is no way I am paying £7g’s to get my own used stuff into this country for a couple of years. When in Rome…………….

27 November 2006.

You can say what you like about Jamaican drivers, and they are AWFUL, but they will stop for anything; accident at the side of the road, for a chat with someone they know and just happen to be overtaking (or indeed undertaking), two goats humping at the roadside and the slightest possibility that a pedestrian will step out. The pedestrian really is king, compared to home where you still need to keep your wits about you walking in a pedestrianised city center. In Jamaica you just saunter out, hold up your hand if you want to be a little more conspicuous, though I find being a white man makes me conspicuous enough usually. Car will immediately stop with furiously flapping arms and hazard lights warning would be undertakers and overtakers that there is a person on the road.

Crossing the road has become my favourite thing about Jamaica. Its a powerful feeling just stepping onto a busy road and feeling quite safe. I know I’m going to get knoced down as soon as I return home.

22 November 2006

Deadline number two hit at work and passed in flying colours – I would like to think that I’ll get to take a little breather. Life recently has been a relentless cycle of sleep and work. I get very little time for relaxation, and none at all to pursue personal interests, like my wine courses. Sunday past, I had been in the middle of cooking for a dinner party when I was unexpectedly called back in. I served main course and left – fuming, the few glasses of wine I had had did very little to numb the pain.
We’re off to Montego Bay for a long weekend. All-inclusive so I am going to pamper myself in the Ritz Carlton. Its very nice and the service is easily the best I have received here, though they do like to charge you for everything at quite ridiculous prices. The all-inclusive nomenclature can be somewhat misleading and quite arbitrary items are excluded for the list. I will be going prepared – I have purchased 5 Montecristo No1’s at an all in cost of J$2,330 or about US$35. 1 of these will cost me US$48 up there so the more I manage to smoke, the cheaper the holiday gets.

17 November 2006

Another long week finishes, though I cannot go for the weekly wind-down as Lady of Leisure has other plans. The other plans only include me insofar as I am babysitting as she’s off on a girly night out. That’s fine with me as I will open (prematurely) aged Italian reds that she hates and savour it with a bar of half melted dairy milk in front of a knock off DvD.

Its all brownie points in the bag for me – Weekend drinking rum and smoking millions of cigars in Cuba?; Weekend at the tables and drinking quality wine in St Martin? Choices are becoming endless though I am worried that these brownie points are becoming like my airmiles. Fantastic potential but I never seem to get the chance to cash them in.

13 November 2006

Lady of leisure has dragged me in to view a number of the properties she’s been looking at – despite my insistence that the decision is wholly hers. A life of leisure seems to have the unfortunate consequence of turning my wife into a woman of expensive tastes. Still if we’re going to be here for a few years, then she has to feel comfortable and happy. Asd is always the case, even though she showed me 4 different houses, I knew the first (And most expensive) was the one she really had her heart set on. Few “slight” problems with the house that apparently easily fixed, such as not having a front door . This will make the contract negotiations tricky, but the longer and more convoluted they are, will just make the process much more Jamaican.

We went to Suzie’s for lunch to celebrate finding the half-built townhouse of our dreams. Just a quick bite before returning to work. Chicken wrap , no cheese and a cup fo blue mountain, no cinnamon. The staff were helpful enough and the food arrived fairly promptly (15 minutes for 2 wraps and 2 coffees – 4 staff and no other customers), though how the made the mistake of making it tuna with cheese I’ll never know. I didn’t have the time or energy to complain. Just another day at the Jamrock café.