Fat Burning Boot Camp

Given the sucess the Lady of Leisure had at the fat burning boot camp run in the early summer, she decided that, it was only fair to share the pain and hunger, and promptly signed me up for Boot Camp 2. Only now it has been rebranded. The "gym" hosting the camp, Shakti. is more meditation than military, so the camp has been renamed the Wellness Bootcamp. I thought to myself, "bit of yoga, some spinning, cut ot mid-week beers and mid-afternoon sweets, piece of piss"

Yesterday morning arrived, 6:30 am and I was jogging up and down a road in Kingston., when normally never even walk anywhere. Gasping for breath, searing pains in my legs and chest, I made it back to Shakti to discover that was simply the warm up. What happened to the first session being an assessment? We were straight in with all kinds of lunges, stretches, weights, and high knees all over the place. Always accompanied by the obligatory and very annoying monotonous thump of mid-nineties house music (140bpm).

The class was mostly female, and largely had people not making too much of an effort on each exercise. A few skinny kids, who shouldn't be there in the first place were putting us all to shame. After 40 minutes, I collapsed. I was exhausted though I think there was a little left in my legs and arms if I needed it. It was my head spinning and my stomach churning that forced me to stop. The urge to projectile vom over the sanctimonious skinny cow in front of me was almost overwhelming. I didn't, rather I sat down and closed my eyes taking slow controlled breaths. I did notice that those apparently making little effort managed to make it to the end of the class. Who's laughing now?

The over all target is to lose 19 pounds in the 8 weeks, which might be a bit ambitious, but it looks like I have to set myself a number of interim targets, like finish a class first. If only to stop the instructors patronising me to the Lady of Leisure, by calling me a "trooper".

The incongruity of it all...

Jamaica can be frustrating, to the point of extreme irritation to which my diatribes in earlier postings can attest. My limited expatriate experience may possible ascribe many of the issues as peculiarly Jamaican, when they could be standard fare for any similar posting. Work too has issues that have probably more to do with the management ethos, and the chaotic nature of massive growth of the organisation than anything to do with the local workforce.

So I will try to get some perspective and get some balance. Lets weigh it up....
Pro
I live in the tropics tax free, in a massive house that I could only dream about in Ireland and have my own pool. How will I ever move back to a mere 2000 square foot hovel in Dublin?
Con
Everything thing here is bloody expensive, from food, school fees to the extortionate electricity bills which appear arbitrarily calculated on ability to pay which quickly eats up any tax free benefit and more.
Pro
I am relatively senior in an organistion that has become regionally important and globally known. Work can be incredibly interesting (for an accountant). I am paid as much or more than I could currently expect back at home and I have visibility.
Con
I have hit a glass ceiling in the organisation and have to rely on the company growing for career progression. Work can be incredibly dull, as well as being incredibly stressful with staff (both expatriate and local) not really getting it. (This might be an indictment of my delegation / training skills but I prefer to think of myself being the only clever / diligent person is a sea of muppets). The equity package is currently underwater and visibility is only good when rewards are more meaningful than a thank-you e-mail from the Chairman.
Con
Jamaican bureaucracy is like living in a Monty Python sketch. Doing the simplest of things costs a huge amount in time, money and sanity. Everything is triplicate, different offices, and those rubber stamps don't pay for themselves.
Pro
I have (personal) staff so I don't need to do as much running about as I used to.
Pro
The beaches on the North Coast are some of the best in the world and I get local rates into resorts that feature on the pages of Conde Nast
Con
We live in Kingston, which is a bit of a shithole, with extreme poverty and an underlying violence, and have to travel to the north coast every few weeks for some respite. It takes forever driving anywhere here and each time you are taking your life in your hands. Jamaican would rather crash into you than slow down, and o course it is easier driving on the wrong side of the road, particularly when there is annoying queue of traffic on yours.
Pro
I have a number of very good friends here and the social life is much more active than it would ever be at home
Con
It is the nature of expatriate life that friends roll in an out of your life with metronomic regularity. Formalities of finding new friends are not stood upon, it is all very Wham Bam thank you Man. I also miss some very good friends from home.
Pro
The family have a great life here, outdoor living, very good school, and many societies and clubs to keep them all busy, so much so that the family has expanded during my sojourn, with the addition of Songbird, now 14 months old and a little terror.
Con
The Lady of Leisure has got involved so much in community life as to make her title redundant. The Little Madam (another redundant title) has started to feel the restrictions of living in Kingston understandably claustrophobic.
Con
Life feels temporary and transient based on a succession of expatriate contracts, and there is a definite, though as yet ill defined end to this party.
Pro
At almost 4 years here now, this has been longer than many permanent positions I have had. Renewing my contract will be taken for granted by the company and conceivably this could turn out to be my longest serving employment within the next contract!
Pro
It is sunny here - a lot!
Con
It is rainy here - a lot!

I could continue but I'm sure you get the gist. I used to think I was a glass half full type of person, but age seems to have reversed this. So should I stop whinging and enjoy the opportunity for as long as it may last or should I continue scratching off the days on my wall?

If there is a reader or two out there, I'll take a vote.

Normal blogging service will resume presently.

We'll try again....

I have been re-inspired to blog. Through twitter I have chanced across one or two blogs that really lighten my day, well semi-interesting and short lived diversions from the drudgery of work at least.

I had originally started this blog, to keep in touch with friends and to relate some of the quirks of living as an expatriate in Jamaica. As time went on, I found myself concentrating more on the tribulations of live in Jamaica and the blog took on an unpleasant tone. That may have been reflective of my views on the place in general and work in particular but it can't have made fun reading for the few followers I had. And I got bored.

Well I am about to embark on a new me program; fitter, healthier and happier. I may become a weight loss / fitness bore but hope to get back to relating the vagaries of life in the Caribbean, and juxtaposition of working in a very dynamic and intense Irish company here staffed almost completely with Irish country bumpkins and bewildered Jamaicans.